Fishbowl Bubbles by JoeYeur

oh yeah, i have a blog!

2006-10-22T07:12:00.000+03:00

I'm surprised at how busy I've been over the past few weeks. I mean, this is Doha - where one is supposed to be dying of boredom! My friends and I have been finding ways of entertaining ourselves, and true enough, I've realized that life here isn't too bad afterall!

Quick recap!

September Highlights:

Charlotte and Oli arrived from Manila en route to the UK. It was bizaare seeing Charlotte in Doha at first, because the last time we had adventures together was in toilets of gay clubs in Manila! Oooh...I miss all that drama! There aren't any interesting toilets here!

The kids stayed with me for 5 days. We tried, absolutely tried to do something during the day, but it was always too hot! Plus I had work. Yes, I'm thinking of more excuses, but yeah we were lazy. Oli loved sleeping.

However, we did get to visit some places - we were not THAT useless:

Qatar National Museum was deserted! No guides! No visitors but us, and an old couple who didn't even make it past the first section. I think they knew what real museums should be like. They disappeared, leaving us three marveling and sweating buckets over unattended artifacts we could've easily walked home with. If only those "antique"jewelry weren't so heavy!

What totally grossed Char and I out was the section on an old native medical "technique"called cupping. Basically the process involves puncturing a hole on the base of the back of the head just above one's nape, using a straw / pipe...blood flows into a cup. OKKKK???? So how is that a cure???

Apparently, it has been said to cure high blood pressure. Well yes, DEATH does cure most known diseases.

Oli was disturbingly fascinated.

The SOUQ trip was fun! We saw more interesting stuff there than we did at the museum! We had dinner at the dodgy but brutally charming Beirut canteen, where I got Char and Oli to try REAL Hommus!

Getting into the clubs was a bitch - with Oli's baby looks! We got denied entry a couple of times, despite us older folk trying to block Oli from the door bouncers' view.

Cloud Nyn (Merweb) - DENIED! (first try) We refused to show ID as it would mean an embrassing shoo off..Char and Oli are only 20 - below minimum age of 21...tsk tsk...We got in the second time through our friend Aziz on their last night in Doha. Had to dress Oli to look like a grown up.

Aussie Legends (Rydges) - DENIED!!! TWICE!!! Tried to get in two consecutive nights. Door Bastard didn't like me. According to him, he has never seen me there before. OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH....guess who threw a bitch fit...still, the fox didn't get in.

Waterhole (Sheraton) - Easy...Dad works in that hotel...Music Sensation will be one of Char and Oli's fondest memories of Doha.

Sheharazad (Ramada) - Sweet talk and Oli's lying got us in. Band who's name we forgot will be Char and Oli's most depressing memory of Doha. 4 girls and a hedious lady boy who kept giving us evils singing on stage was totally wrong! Plus their hair tossing and bang twirling routine was extremely annoying. I think they drove an Asian woman crazy - the poor thing provided another interesting attraction by freak dancing and rolling over on the dancefloor...bouncers eventually escorted her out of everyone's view...She reminded me of a rabied dog.

Paloma (Intercon) - We just walked in!!! Thanks to Oli's grown up make over. It was amaaaazing! South African girl at the bar was even buying Oli drinks. Charlotte was stealing drinks at some large group's table. AAAWW...Just like good ol' Manila days.

October Highlights:

Most of the month fell under Ramadan - when the city is dead during the day and all clubs are closed temporarily - when eating out during the day involves going through back doors of restaurants - when smoking in the stairwell is cool - when everyone supposedly abstains from any sexual activity...But of course, that didn't stop us from partying and getting sloshed out of Chantal's face.

80s Party - at some lady's faraway villa...we arrived after some tearful navigation all dressed up...only to see drunken fuglies all over the place. It was one challenging party! Plus, presence of freaky-foundationed-made-up-net- skirted-wigged-woman-thing-from-dubai encouraged one to get drunk faster. I loved the nachos and salsa and sausage rolls though.

Bill's Party- All-American Steak, beans, mashed potatoes, booze and Chantal! The perfect mix for an excellent night of binging!

Simon's 80s Gym Karaoke Night - Another wacky episode of Team Doha, fuck yeah!

Ramadan ends tomorrow! Yippeee! The group's heading into the desert up north, camping out for the night! And on Tuesday we'll be out on an all-day boat party, sailing down to Banana Island (yes, there is such a spot...more details soon).

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Flair Bijoux for Jamila Magazine

2006-09-17T02:02:00.000+03:00

here we go...that's more like it...

2006-09-17T00:34:00.000+03:00

My boss' wife gave me an important assignment - one which really excited the shisha out of me!

An arab ladies magazine JAMILA (meaning beautiful) was going to feature her jewelry store on its upcoming issue and we needed to provide them with pictures. I was given the liberty to conceptualize and produce some material, but of course i needed help from some fabulous friends!

INTRODUCING...My Doha Style Team!!!

Make-up and Hair by Adelle El-Assaad and Kemo Al-Jasim

Styling by Chantal Mossess

I had an amazing time working with these talented young artists! We used dresses from Chantal's first ever collection, which were absolutely stunning! I'm looking forward to seeing her grow as a designer - she's just returned to Doha after finishing design school in the UK. Starting her career in the region, with the exotic inspiration all around should be an ideal launchpad for her. Adelle has been busy establishing his career in make-up in Kuwait, where he does commission work for MAC cosmetics. He is also a visual artist who uses the oddest media - his images, compositions and poetry have really made me appreciate having such an impressive friend as him. Kemo did his training in make-up in London. He loves to make people look beautiful. Cultural restraints have not been allowing him to practice his talent, with him being a qatari male, but now we're opening opportunities for him to explore his passion.

Models Maria Gasan and Joyce Dionzon were both really easy to work with. The camera loved them to bits! Despite the discomfort of getting crammed into a tiny studio with five other people (more so with the banging noise coming from a storage room above us), they effortlessly managed to exude grace and presence in every shot. It was quick painless and fun!

And the results put really big smiles on our faces...

why oh why? what's this trying to tell me?

2006-09-17T00:22:00.000+03:00

ok...

a week after my final cabin crew interview, i received an email saying that my application has "not been successful"... what the ?!! --

it's been two weeks since i got the news, and looking back, i'm quite surprised at how lightly i accepted the situation...yes - the dream of carts, uniforms, life vests, travel and service to air travelers has to be temporarily set aside...but this also makes me believe that maybe i should be doing something else...perhaps this was a nudge towards a different direction...

oooooh...

where do we go now?

we look forward to seeing you on our future flights...

2006-08-28T01:57:00.000+03:00

I've made the final step this morning...The next two weeks will be filled with anxiety, doubt and possibly some self-mutilation!

My initial plan upon arrival in Doha last year was to apply for a cabin crew position for Qatar Airways, one of the fastest growing airlines in the world. This was inspired by the desire to see the world and to have first-hand experience in dealing with people from all walks of life and cultures.

That plan was suppressed for a few months. I've had urges to apply for flight attendant jobs in Manila since graduating from college. These were often buried under other opportunities and choice priorities, like media-related work. On my second week in this city, I was offered a very promising job at a local advertising company. I accepted.

By January this year, I was still considering applying for Qatar Airways. At the time, it only took one online application and a couple of photos. Later on, I sent hard copies of my documents to their office. Then I waited, only to find out later that the airlines have halted recruitment of male crew. I stayed patient and waited some more.

A few months later, one of my friends helped forward my application to the cabin crew recruitment department. Chances felt higher this time, and so was the anticipation.

Finally! The airlines conducted a recruitment campaign in Doha on August 25. An invitation email was sent to me a week before the scheduled inital screening. I woke up one morning, hungover from a fantastic party the night before and laid eyes on the magic words CABIN CREW RECRUITMENT in my inbox! I flipped!!!!

August 25 - initial screening

I've waited so long for this to happen, and I was definitely in my element. I easily made new friends and enjoyed every minute of the whole circus! There were 38 candidates. At the end of the day, we were trimmed down to 8! I felt bad for those who didn't make it, especially those I got to talk to and been very pleasant, but I was also happy that 3 of my new friends made the final list:

Joyce - Filipina

Danny - Syrian

Youssef - Morrocan

August 27 - final interviews

I booked a taxi to pick me up at 10.30am - an hour before my interview slot - the night before. I was fully prepared and ready to go, when I found out from the taxi service that my ride would be arriving a bit late.

30 minutes later. Still no taxi. Panic attack! I found a private car instead to rush me to the building. It was a loooong 20-minute ride through traffic lights, roundabouts and bad drivers. It felt like an omen, an obstacle and a really bad punishment! Grace under pressure. Hair must remain in place! Adrenalin was gushing through my ears and I had to talk to someone. I got Adelle on the phone and he stayed with me until I finally reached the building with barely a minute left before the end of all I ever hoped for. I was running and ugh-ing like captain caveman!

I arrived just minutes before Danny was escorted out of the interview room, allowing me to breathe and regain my energy. I was called in...and the grilling began...

20 minutes later, drained out of curiosity on my performance and appearance I was escorted out. My knees were trembling and I honestly had the urge to run back inside and scream "Don't leave me!!!" or "Just tell me YES or NO!!!" I felt my heart beating like techno - but I didn't feel like dancing at all. Had to keep smiling and composed, as every movement still seemed of utmost importance.

A minute later I got called back in. The recruiters suggested that I submit another full body photo. The one I gave them (above) was apparently too "cutting edge." Ugh!

Danny and I left headquarters together in an effort to share the remaining energy we had left. We met up with Joyce who was shopping with her dad at a nearby supermarket. She had her interview earlier in the morning, also drained and left thinking.

I got a new photo shot at a shabby studio and had lunch with Danny at a Turkish canteen while waiting for the prints. We then picked up Joyce from her house and headed to Landmark Mall, where Danny had to get a copy of his passport from his current company (Mango). Later on, we found ourselves in the cozy café at the interior design boutique. In between playful and hilarious conversations, we would fall quiet at the slightest recollection of our possible mistakes that morning. These were feelings we would never forget. We had to talk about it.

My other friends were also excited to see me. So I took Danny and Joyce to meet them. We needed to be distracted and surrounded by the jollies! Adelle, Fares, Kelvin, Abdul, Kareem and Chantal became emotional punching bags and I was so happy to have them around to support us.

Now...It has all sunken in... I could only hope for the best and be patient. The wait begins...With the results coming out by first week of September, it's definitely going to be the longest two weeks ever!

we came...we saw...we conquered...

2006-08-22T22:22:00.000+03:00

The raves at the Diplomatic Club Tent are by far the best parties to go in Doha (if you like trance and techno). Organized by Global Deejays, these sessions are thrown once a month. Last weekend was a surprise, as we only found out about the party the day before! Playing that night were the UK's Master Jay and Paul Mendez.

The Doha queens and their fag chicks were fabulous as usual. I love them!

Adelle's Chocolate Cake and The Book of Revelations...

2006-08-14T03:41:00.000+03:00

In an effort to stay away from the tempting calls of more mixed drinks, we found ourselves goofing about in an impromptu dinner gathering at my flat. Adelle volunteered to be the evening's chef and created an amazing meal using stuff from my kitchen! It was the longest I ever spent in there!

Menu:

Mixed Salad with some dressing...and FRESH MUSHROOMS!!! whoa!!!

Stuffed Paratha...with FRESH MUSHROOMS!!! whoaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Fettucini Alfredo

Chicken Parmesan...with FRESH MUSHROOMS!!! whoaaaaa!!!

Adelle's Legendary Chocolate Cake

Lovely...definitely divine!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

drag...and...drop...

2006-08-10T12:27:00.000+03:00

Two weeks of crazy partying...Two weeks of visibility...Two weeks of cosmos...Two of the best weeks I've had in Doha.

The drag drive climaxed with the car flying over a huge speed bump. 8 of us packed inside felt the hard thud of the poor vehicle's guts. It was dark and our friend behind the wheel was wearing a blonde wig and big dark fatale shades. HOT!

Those same big dark shades also got me into a very embarassing accident. We were shopping for martini glasses at the home boutique and spotted some friends at the café upstairs. I was wearing those eye muffs with my gym bag over my shoulder and made for the stairs, failing to realize that the steps were actually right in front of me. So I had my slow-mo-elbow-first encounter with cement. My witnesses: my friend whose shades I was wearing, a girl friend's husband who works at the store and a surveillance camera right in front of me.

I am warming up to cosmopolitans...Especially when party monster Fares mixes them. Adelle's mix is also legendary! Mine is just random. At the cigar bar, just be sure to say COSMOS clearly when you order, to avoid waiters showing up with bottles of CARLSBURG...does this face look like a beer-chugger?

Our two qatari friends arrived from their London trip a few days ago. Instead of meeting us with welcoming arms at the party, they headed straight to jail! A pink jelly dildo was found in their luggage. It was clearly a case of human rights violation, and a perfect example of the hypocrisy in this country. They were emotionally harrassed and embarassed for two awful nights in a cell for being gay. When they were released, one of them got his head shaved upon his own father's orders. What exactly is THAT going to do? How is that going to help? That friend of mine looks more statuesque now than ever before. Fabulous!

...

2006-08-10T12:09:00.000+03:00

i had a dream about someone i should not be dreaming about anymore...
woke up crying...
what the f**k?!

silence...

2006-08-02T21:54:00.000+03:00

Hmmmm...

I think I should've paid more attention to my family when they were around. It feels weird at home without them. It's too QUIET!!! I turned the television in the living room on. Might try working the washing machine in the next hour..yeah just MIGHT...

The flat could use some redecorating too. It WILL be my place for a month...So it's time to mark the territory!!! One of my friends once said that my house reminds him of Applebee's restaurant (sorta like TGI Friday's) because of all the interesting clutter!

I got home really late from work tonight. Got stuck finalizing the design for this stupid booklet for this stupid watch that guides you to the direction of the city of Makkah. The client has such bad taste in design I wanted to throw up on her.

My study was very streamlined, simple but classy to give the watches a more sophisticated appeal. They are, afterall, swiss-made. Then, she totally dissed it!!! She sat next to our art director for a week and made him design some fugly spread of a brochure/flyer that makes the watch look dirt cheap and bargain store-ish. Our multimedia manager saw it, and he too didn't approve of the client's idea. How are we supposed to maintain a consistent portfolio and a company image if we do not persuade the client that our creative direction has a particular standard? Our art director is such a puppet!

Anyway, whenI first saw this lady, I thought she had class. She had a very outspoken personality and was very polite. I started hating her when I overheard her say that my design looked like there wasn't much effort put into it. BITCH!!! And to think I voluntarily used one of MY stock photos as a banner image (which she liked)...BITCH!!! I would've humbly accepted the comment had she come up with a better idea for a brochure...but noooooooo....the final product is some tacky piece of radioactive crap!!! And my photo ( a silhouette of a bedouin man sitting on a hill of sand and rock with the sunset in the background) is still in it! Shit!

Adelle called with good news! He might be going to Cyprus on Sunday with his big brother! Waaaaah!!! Fares and I are going to miss him big time. He's got to be the most positive and genuine person I've ever met here! The trip will cut his stay in Doha short by 2 weeks. Anyway, we're gonna drag our way to Kuwait some day!

The small studio I rent for shoots closed down a couple of weeks ago. They've been losing business since construction began on their street. Grrrrr! And the other studio that I know of have stopped renting out theirs! So I'm slightly worried. I'm supposed to take some corporate portraits of an Italian guy who I know from hospitalityclub.org.

Speaking of HC...there are about 5 of us members here in Qatar who are active hosts. I've met two of them. The other 2 work for the Asian Games and are either out of the country or too busy for coffee...and when they ARE free, I am usually broke, tired, or too fucked to go out.

What to do? What to do???

Tomorrow...lunch at KFC...then dinner at KFC...

This sounds like trouble!!!

I should get my ass to a grocery and pick up some salad stuff!

*sigh*

how...lonely...

oooohhhhh...alone...

2006-08-02T12:19:00.000+03:00

Saw my family off at the airport this morning. It felt weird...

I walked out of the airport and saw a mosque in the horizon. Got into a cab...Fuck, damn expensive ride...

Wonder what I'm having for dinner tonight...so shit...lunch in one hour...

OH MY GAAAAAAAAWWWWWWD!!!!!!!!!!

*gulp*

INDEPENDENCE!

2006-08-02T02:35:00.000+03:00

Starting tomorrow...for a whole month...I will have complete privacy and independence in Doha. *gulp!*

My family will be off to the Philippines on holiday. As for me, I am stuck here because of work and because I haven't been able to save enough (anything...really) to make my own summer plans. HOWEVER, having the flat to myself for a month should be extremely exciting. *wink wink*

I've become friends with some really cool people in the past couple of weeks:

Chantal - young Armenian fashion designer. She is a really sweet gorgeous girl I met through an old high school friend. She left last week to attend her graduation in the UK and holiday in Spain and will be back in the 3rd week of August. yey! girl friend!!!

Adelle - fabulous MAC make up artist, based in Kuwait. We clicked naturally when we met during dinner with Chantal. He is awesome, funny, cute and full of positive energy! He's lived a few years here and graduated from my sister's school. He is currently also studying advertising in Kuwait, where the gay queens are posh and evil. I love his stories...Makes me want to go to Kuwait in drag!!!

Leila - beautiful qatari-american girl who studies finance in Washington DC. Her dad owns my new favorite restaurant in Doha (Massaya), where I met her and Adelle for dinner. She is STYLE and GRACE!!! She left today to join Chantal in Spain and from there, head on back to the States. :( Will see her again during Christmas break.

Fares - lebanese-canadian party boi. I've known him for a couple of months as a casual friend. We've started getting close a couple of weeks ago. I love his dance moves and his fuck-this attitude (which most of my friends have anyway). He is hyper, chatty and a smooth talker. I think he's having withdrawal syndrome.

Maria - HOT HOT HOT british-indian girl. She is the ultimate, petite, chic fag hag! I found out later that we actually knew each other when we were kids. I grew up with her older brothers! She is also a model and a rock radio DJ.

My original set of friends are away. Sami has gone back to the States. Robert is on holiday. Kareem, Abdul and Aziz and partying in London. The list of people in my Doha life is getting longer and I'm beginning to feel the stress of having to give attention to more and more people...Hehehe.

I wanna buy a pair of pointy leather shoes...

I'm sleepy now...

window of opportunity

2006-07-18T07:36:00.000+03:00

So I’ve been improving my sleeping habit this past week and it’s absolutely amAAAAAzing!!! There IS one snag about going to bed before 11pm though – I keep waking up at 4.30 am!!! I can’t complain. I still feel more alive and vibrant. My eyes seem less puffy, and I think my erectile vessels have been waking up too. WOOOHOO!!!

I’ve been reflecting on my life here in Doha…again. This time however, I do intend to get my act together.Two weeks ago I was invited to a meeting with an international ad agency that had recently opened office in Qatar. They were offering me a job as a graphic designer. I had to be honest with them from the start, telling them that I would rather be focusing on establishing myself as a photographer. I know that if graphic design were to push my actual goals to the back seat and eating up most of my time and energy then I would not be happy nor productive. I spent the whole day getting acquainted with their team and it was spirited and inspiring. But my gut feel was telling me that it was not what I wanted. Or maybe I was being a sissy chicken!Waaaah!

That experience really pushed me to become more aggressive in pushing for photography work. I met a couple of people who were interested in collaborating with me. A young Armenian fashion designer, a fresh grad from a design school in England, was introduced to me by an old school friend. She was really perky, sensible and full of optimism – very rare in a dive like Doha. We met last weekend over coffee exchanging ideas and listing down concepts for our pictorials. I would love to shoot at the souq, but people here are still not used to such “provocative” activity, so it might get messy and uncomfortable. Plus interacting with municipal officials could be a bitch…So we wouldn’t tread that ground right now. We have other locations in mind as well. A Belgian breeder of Arabian show horses has also asked me to do some photography work for his farm and offered to refer me to other people who may need my services. I’ve also made contact with a local expat art group!!! YEEEEEY!!! It’s a really good start I think. Time to get these juices flowing! It’s about time!!!

I really should’ve done this much earlier. Living here has really made me lazy and an expert in time mis-management. I have become an awful troll!!! Boohoo!

ugh finally found the title field!!!!

2006-07-03T04:19:00.001+03:00

The bitch is back!

It has come to my attention that I have failed one of my new year's resolutions (i.e. NY2006Res #9 Keep a decent, well-written, witty, charismatic blog). I am greatly ashamed of this, and of my chronic laziness.

I am also upset that I forgot there was NY2006Res #1 Do not smoke... Again. I remembered about it a couple of months ago. I succeeded for a week, then realized the clause was not specific enough. Do not smoke what? Do not smoke when? Do not smoke with? Do not smoke where? Then I just stopped thinking about it and lit a cigarette because it was stressing me out. I'll make revisions in 2007. In the meantime, I enjoy cigarettes. The act of smoking has a way of bringing me closer to Mommy too, because she religiously prepares some strange herbal tea (with floating flower pollen) to combat the nutrients I inhale. I just love it whenever she chases me around the house to force me to down her secret broth. One time, she tricked me into drinking Virgin Coconut Oil by mixing it into the tea. The deception!!! What was NY2006Res #1 again? What am I talking about? Why do you stare at me? Is it because one of my legs is shorter than the other?

I refuse to reveal what else was in NY2006Res. It was a short list anyway.

*Thinks*

Oh Shit...

burpday gifts

2006-03-08T16:03:00.000+03:00

It was sort of my birthday last week. I turned 6 1/2 years old.

I got a bottle of English malt beer, a cigar, and a box of alcoholic belgian chocolates...Hmmm...Am I sending my friends the wrong idea?

Wonder where I'll be when I turn 7 in 2008?

*burp*

found an old friend

2006-03-06T00:15:00.000+03:00

Feeling restless and bored, I took a walk alone the other night and found myself at a hair-raisingly familiar spot.

I used to bike and rollerblade around here with my friends when I was younger. I still remember falling off my BMX with one of the handle bars jutting under my right jaw, and as a result, my mouth wouldn't open fully for a couple of days. Pretending that nothing happened and keeping my mother from noticing my pain and discomfort was one of my earliest practices of self-protection.

The tall building under construction is where my childhood apartment block used to stand in Doha's Dafna district. Those homey identical brown buildings and its playgrounds have been demolished some time ago to make way for the city's major urban facelift.

In a few years, this once quiet, sandy and flat expanse of land will be loaded with skyscrapers that will color the Doha skyline.

I spent about 30 minutes sitting on this pavement that night feeling increasingly carefree. This is where she was last seen, but somehow, my old playground is actually still here.

finally, i am...

2006-03-05T03:47:00.000+03:00

It's 0335H and I've just spilt tabasco sauce on my dark blue track pants.

Woke up hungry a couple of hours ago and made for the two pieces of fried chicken on the dining table - burnt from my careless oven-heating earlier tonight, cold and gummy after having been on the table, untouched, for hours. Doesn't get any better than this does it?

I started to think about my new year's resolutions (quite overdue, but better late than never) Why not finally start that blog? - I asked myself while the tabasco bottle slipped from my ketchup-coated fingertips...

So here I finally am...

My name is Joe...